I Can't Decide
by SerasKucheki
Summary: Song Fanfic. RussiaxAmerica. Use of human names. Warning: Violence. What if you couldn't decided if you hated the one you were falling for enough to kill or just torture for the rest of your life? What would you do to figure out your feelings?


**Warnings: **Violence

**I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers**

This story was inspired by finding an interesting youtube video and I agree full heartedly with this song and their relationships. YAY for sexual tension during the Cold War 8D

I Can't Decide

_It's not easy having yourself a good time._

_Greasing up those bets and betters._

_Watching out they don't four-letter._

"Why are you here?" snarled America glaring at the Russian. He was having a good time until _he_ came. England decided to drink his beer much faster.

"Comrades are supposed to have fun together da?" asked Russia smiling and taking a seat in between them.

"I'm not your fucking comrade." America growled. He got up and went to the bar to get a couple more beers. Russia was smiling innocently watching the American closely.

Suddenly something was poured on his lap. Russia shot his head to England nearly glaring at him. England smiled, "I don't like you." he stated slurring his words.

_Obviously he's drunk, just don't get worked up the goal is America._ When America sat back down, he made sure _he_ was the one next to England and was glaring at Russia. Russia took off his coat only because it was soaked but made sure the scarf stayed in its place. He then took out a bottle of Vodka and began drinking. It was considerably quiet between the three except random outbursts from the drunken Brit for about the first hour before the American became slowly drunk as well. Russia was still on his first bottle of Vodka thoroughly entertained by the two other nations. When America went to go get more beer, Russia moved next to England. England glared at him flipping him off and he just smiled innocently. "How about we make the night interesting for little America?" he asked resting his head on his hand still smiling. England, in his drunk state, smiled back motioning for him to continue before he came back.

_If it equals torturing him. He's such an idiot._

"More of a bet." England began slowly losing his smile knowing this was no longer a good idea. "Don't give me that it is very simple." he said taking a quick drink of Vodka loving the feeling of the liquid slide down his throat. "Whoever can get a kiss first, gets to spend a week with him without interruptions from the other." he smiled looking at him as his face completely fell. "It doesn't have to be long, just a peck on the cheek." England thought about it knowing that Russia wouldn't take a no, so, the only way to save America was to agree.

"I accept." he slurred horribly as America started coming back. America saw those two sitting next to each other and just sat across from them.

"So, what's going on?" he asked cheeks flushed from becoming intoxicated.

_Fuck and kiss you both at the same time_

_Smells-like something I've forgotten_

_Curled up died and now it's rotten_

_Knowing England, he'll screw it up on his own._ Russia smiled even bigger drinking form his bottle finding it nearly empty.

_The Cold War, whether I like it or not, left its mark on the both of them. They can tolerate each other more and that's not a good thing._ England in his intoxicated mind decided to get it over with quickly. For once he was happy that America couldn't read the atmosphere because he could actually feel him blush at the idea of just doing it.

When America leaned back he did not expect the Britain to get on his lap. "Iggy!" he exclaimed nearly falling backward from surprise.

England ignored that horrible nickname, "Shut up git." he sneered leaning in close. America stood up knocking the table over and sending England to the floor.

"What the hell? You're drunk!" he screamed blushing and walking away to the bar. England didn't even notice Russia follow as he sat there groaning from the slight pain at being sent to the floor. America was going to order more beer but the bartender shook his head say something about breaking his table. "Fuck…" he mumbled putting his face in his hands.

A bottle was put in front of him followed by a too innocent voice, "Have some it works faster da?" America glared at him but took the bottle, sniffing it first, can't be too careful, then took a drink. The fire that went down his throat made him think he _was_ trying to kill him. He reached for his gun, coughing, as Russia grabbed his hand. "Wait." America stared at him feeling it dull away and took a deep breath.

"How the _fuck_ can you stand that?" he asked.

Russia smiled but it suddenly lost its fake brightness, "Well you owe me now."

America hardened his stare instantly, "Fucking commie bas…" but was stopped as Russia kissed his cheek. He froze as he saw him pull away. England seeing he lost, grumbled and stood up getting more beer. His gaze of shock was broken by the bottle.

"You can have the rest." he smiled like nothing happened. America took it thinking he damn right deserved it feeling himself blush again.

America was holding his head silently cursing himself. _I can't remember the rest of the night. It wasn't good to not remember when you were with Russia._ He snapped awake not recognizing the bed whatsoever and pulled himself out of bed. _Well I'm still dres…_ Suddenly a memory came back to him from the Cold War.

_I'm not a gangster tonight_

_Don't want to be a bad guy_

_I'm just a loner baby_

_And now you're gotten in my way_

_"Don't fucking try anything!" America yelled eyeing the Russian suspiciously turning away from the room. "I won't, we're here for peace." he sighed losing his smile. "Well I still don't like you!" America stated defiantly crossing his arms. Russia looked at him with a blank look before kissing him on the lips. Just as America was going to punch him, he backed away smiling innocently. "Let's start our relationship anew da?"_

America clenched his fist remembering how badly it hurt to walk the next morning. _That was so embarrassing but I fucking let him do it._ The door opened and he looked at the Russian, "Where's Iggy?" he spat feeling the hangover trying to take over again.

"France took him home." explained Russia smiling.

"Well, I'll just leave. Fucking commie thinking I'd _want_ to come here." America declared beginning to walk out. Russia didn't budge even as America pushed at him. "Move."

"Nyet." He smiled wider as he tried even more to move the Russian. America gave up in being nice going for a punch to only have it caught.

"You won't keep me here." he growled going for a kick at his knees. Russia took the opportunity to off balance him pushing him to the floor with his hand held tightly behind his back.

"I won a bet, so no one is going to stop me da?" Russia breathed into his ear. "Whoever kissed you got a free week with you undisturbed." Russia licked his ear then stood up leaving America speechless.

_Why would Iggy agree to such a thing? I don't want to be here! _"Move." he demanded crossing his arms glaring at the Russian.

"Why? You do remember the last time you were here da?" Russia asked closing the door and looking back at America. America was now blushing and embarrassed. He dodged the punch and death gripped the American's wrist. Keeping a tight grip he went for a punch himself but America avoided it by ducking and went for a kick at his knee, this time connecting. Russia growled letting go of his wrist to grab his faithful pipe as America went for his gun. The minutes passed as they both looked at each other feeling the end of the others' prized weapon.

America still didn't want to kill him because they were such good friends until their countries decided to go on an arms race. _Fuck…_ He lowered his gun nearly pouting as Russia lowered his own weapon.

Russia was smiling happy to see America finally give in the act of him supposedly hating him. _He has finally accepted that what happened that night wasn't a fluke._ America got up to leave but Russia grabbed his arm and flung him against the wall. Before he could figure out what was happening, the Russian pressed himself against the smaller nation holding him there. "Now, why don't we start a _new_ relationship and actually mean it this time da?" America stared at him wide eyed and tried to push him away as he was pulled into a rough bruising kiss.

_It's a bitch convincing people to like you_

_If I stop now call me a quitter_

_If lies were cats you'd be a litter_

There was a world meeting today in Austria and everyone was present, except for the two people England desperately needed to see. _Where the bloody hell is America? Yesterday was the last day of that bet so why didn't he call or something?_ England was drumming his fingers on the table ignoring the hand on his thigh that was creeping higher. France couldn't even get him out of his state of mind he was in because he was worried and needed to know if he was still alive. England glared at France when he came particularly close to a certain region but jumped as the door slammed open.

"The Hero is here!" yelled America walking in strolling over to his seat next to England. Just as he was about to give the American an earful, Russia came in after and sat down next to America. He took up glaring at the Russian who only smiled back innocently. What surprised him was that when America looked at Russia, there was no glare, but, happiness?

_What the fuck did he do to him? He fucking brainwashed him, he had too!_ Everyone gawked at the site before them, America was talking casually, laughing, smiling, at Russia.

America suddenly stood up, "I have an announcement!" he yelled loudly. Russia's smile faltered slightly still not used to the forwardness of the smaller nation but didn't interrupt him as he continued to tell the whole world their decision. "Russia and I are dating!" England stood up quickly ready to strangle the America but was held back by France who was at least looking angry at the right person, Russia. Everyone else was in complete shock and trying to figure out what to say or do. Russia stayed seated grabbing America's hand and pulled him down into his lap. England literally jumped the couple as he tried to pry America away from him. America pushed at England before anyone could even pry him off. "Iggy! I thought you'd be happy!" he sighed as Russia stood up behind him laying an arm around his shoulder.

"Why the bloody hell would I be happy about you dating him?" he snapped as France finally got a hold him with his arms tight against his body.

"Well you made that bet knowing you wouldn't win…" America shrugged leaning back into the Russian who accepted him happily. England knew he couldn't say anything to that it was his fault, in a weird way. England sighed giving up knowing that America would never listen to him. He smiled seeing he got confirmation from his father and looked around the table only seeing doubtful faces and worried ones. His smile didn't falter one second even as Russia laid his head on his shoulder snuggling into his neck.

"Alfred, I'm bored of this meeting da?" he said also asking America tightening his grip sending shivers up his spine.

"Ivan…" he whispered closing his eyes.

Austria stood up quickly, "Now it's time for the meeting to continue. Every nation that could get a hold of themselves up to this point nodded in agreement.

America suddenly opened his eyes, "Hey, so now you all have to like Ivan better now!" he yelled. Almost everyone fell out of their chairs. A chorus of 'No's' and 'Hell no's' quickly erupted from around the table. He crossed his arms pouting, "Come on guys! He's really not that bad!" he said looking at every nation like they should, and will, give him a chance.

"Do not worry America, no one likes you."

"That's a lie."

"Hmm?"

"I love you Russia…" he said kissing him on the lips quickly so Hungary couldn't get any pictures. Russia stood frozen but finally found the right state of mind and returned the kiss pulling him back down in his chair.

Once America was on his lap he looked around the table seriously, "You guys will see how nice he is." he swore.

_Pleasing everyone isn't like you_

_Dancing jigs until I'm crippled_

_Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled_

Somehow, America had talked Russia into going onto the dance floor with him. England wasn't sure but Russia did a lot of things he thought he'd never do when he was with America. There was one fact he knew for sure though, he _hated_ the Russian with a passion. It wasn't because he stole America from him he just knew America didn't need the headache of a psychotic killer.

America grabbed Russia's hand after the fifth dance, tired and thirsty, and brought him to the bar so they could get some drinks, "Beer!" exclaimed America. Russia like usual already had a vodka bottle in his coat and took it out just asking for a glass. America looked over at Russia in time for him to be pulled into a deep kiss that was passionate and not hateful. He kissed him back but before they could bring the other closer, America's beer hit the table, hard. They pulled away and America grabbed the beer thanking the bartender.

Russia suddenly grabbed America's hand and looked at him, "I have a solution to our argument da." he said. America motioned for him to continue. "Who can take ten shots of vodka and still able to dance gets to top tonight." he proposed swinging the bottle to the side of their line of sight.

America smirked, "Sure."

_I've got to hand it to you_

_You've played by all the same rules_

_It takes the truth to fool me_

_And now you've made me angry_

Russia kissed America on the forehead helping him rise awake. He had won very easily but he thought America agreed just to keep him away from the hotel. _It's not like I hide because I want too…_ Since the world meeting was being held for a couple days he had to watch out for Belarus. She has increasingly become more obsessed with him and he was personally happy she didn't hear America's outburst. America stirred slightly groaning from the activities of last night but opened his eyes to the smiling Russian. Wrapping his arms around his waist he pulled him close blushing slightly. He smiled and ran his fingers through the blonde hair.

"I know you haven't said this yet, but, I love you Ivan." America mumbled into his lap afraid to look at his face. Russia was afraid that this would happen because well he wanted to say those three words but they were cursed. When he said it to Lithuania and Prussia, it wasn't long before they left and he didn't want America to leave he wanted him to stay and be with him but he couldn't help but nod in agreement. America sighed and pulled him close knowing it would take awhile before he could actually say it but he was a little annoyed that he couldn't say it, even after the whole week he spent with him. Russia thought it was weird he was quiet and desperately wanted to say anything and really hoped he didn't make America angry.

The meeting was very quiet, abnormally quiet. Things were getting done and the countries could feel a weight forming in their hearts because the people who looked so happy yesterday weren't speaking or doing anything. America was just staring at the person who would be talking blankly and Russia kept looking over at America nervously like he was trying to figure out what to do to bring the American out of his shell but was too afraid to do anything. The other nations were avoiding the two and everyone was slowly converging on the other side of the table not even caring about personal space, just not wanting to be near the couple that looked like something was about to go down. Russia finally spoke up, "America?"

"What _Russia?_" he snarled looking at him. America wanted to know why he wouldn't at least tell him if he didn't like him or say something about this morning. Russia blinked a few times and reached for his hand but America pulled it away. Something snapped and he grabbed America by the throat and threw him to the ground. Finally the nations got up and pulled America away even though he wasn't fighting back and glaring at him. Russia growled and pushed through the nations grabbing the American taking him back to their room ignoring the protests from the other nations.

_Oh I could throw you in the lake_

_Or feed you poisoned birthday cake_

_I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone_

America was sitting at the edge of Lake Michigan just waiting for Russia. He said he had something to say and he didn't understand why he even got mad at him in the first place. His face met his knees and tried to figure out why he acted like that to Russia, he should be more understanding to him. A large hand was put on his shoulder and he flinched slightly looking up at the larger nation feeling extremely small at the position he was in. "You are mad at me da?" he said sitting down next to the American.

"Da." he replied looking over the water.

"How can I cool you down?" he asked looking over at him desperately not wanting to see him go. The tactic of not saying the words is pushing him away faster than it did when he said the words to Prussia.

"I don't know…" America replied looking at him then back at the lake suddenly getting an evil idea. "But I think you need to be cooled down." he smiled at him innocently. Russia looked at him but suddenly felt his collar grabbed and he was thrown into the lake. When he resurfaced he found himself looking at laughing smiling American. He got out of the water feeling heavy and cold walking over to America who was wiping at his eyes from slight tears of happiness. "I… it…" tried talking America before he was thrown in the lake. Russia smiled at him as he came sputtering out of the lake out of pure shock. The next thing he knew he was tackled by a smiling scheming blonde. He smiled back and brought him into a passionate kiss holding him close feeling the warmth spread through his body already.

_This is odd…_ Russia was staring at a package that was supposedly from America, but it looked too properly but together and neat to be from him. He stared at it wondering what the hell to think of it but opened it slowly finding a cake. _Cake? What the hell?_ He stared at it, smelled it, and even poked it. It looked normal enough so he took out the cake and went to the kitchen and began cutting into it. He was stopped before he could get a plate out at a loud obnoxious knock at his door. Quickly answering he saw America, "Alfred?" he asked confused.

"Hey Ivan!" he smiled pulling him into a tight hug. "Did you miss me?"

"Alfred, you sent a cake da?" he asked ignoring his question to get a confused look.

"No…" America pushed past Russia and to the kitchen to look at the 'cake'. He looked at it smelling a familiar aroma and quickly took a bite.

Russia watched him take a bite, "So?"

"Tasteless…" he said.

"England da?" America nodded in agreement.

"Good thing I tasted it, I have a strong gut from his food for living with him so long." he smiled taking his Hero pose. Russia stared at him hating when he does that because it was very hard to ignore him. America stayed that way for a few more seconds before shoving cake into his face.

_Oh I could bury you alive_

_But you might crawl out with a knife_

_And kill me when I'm sleeping_

"Do you have any idea how easy it has been to kill you lately?" growled Russia strangling the American. America was gripping his hands making him bleed and glaring at him. He smiled down at the blonde moving one hand to his eye, "Just like the sky…" he mused covering it and removing his hand so he could breath.

America replied scratchily, "Same… here!" he yelled kicking at him barely getting him off. America attacked him kicking him in the side reaching for his fallen pistol. Russia grabbed his ankle and threw him against the wall so he could grab his pipe. Groaning as he hit the wall he stood up to only duck back to the ground before he could get hit in the head with the pipe. Rolling on the floor he got away and reached for his pistol just in time to threaten him. They stared at each other knowing they could kill each other, anytime, anywhere, but they felt no conviction behind their own threat and their glares began to lessen. "Why do we keep arguing?" he asked the Russian lowering his weapon as he did his.

"I don't know Alfred…" he sighed going over to pull him into a bear hug. "But I do know I truly love you." America's heart quickened as he held the Russian back just as tightly.

"This is going to be interesting…"

"Definitely da?"

_I can't decide_

_Whether you should live or die_

_Oh, you'll probably go to heaven_

_Please don't hang your head and cry_

_No wonder why_

_My heart feels dead inside_

_It's cold and hard and petrified_

_Lock the doors and close the blinds_

_We're going for a ride_

**Reviews would be much appreciated and this took forever since my creativity kept dying and you should really listen to this song 8D I Can't Decide by Scissor Sisters**


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